Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Ethnicity in Entertainment


Here’s a subject that has long been a debate: Whether to maintain the ethnic origins of literary characters in their screen adaptations. A lot of people scream for ethnic diversity in films, and for ethnic updates to iconic characters (I am opposed to this last part for reasons I will not go into here).  For me, it’s not a black and white situation (no pun intended). It’s really a case-by-case decision.

This whole thing started over a friend posting an article that called for Gina Torres (Firefly) to be cast as Wonder Woman. Ok, first, let me say this, Gina Torres is awesome. She is gorgeous, talented, and can portray a commanding female character quite well. The only problem is, she’s black…er, excuse me…African American. Why is this a problem? Because Wonder Woman is not black (sorry, it’s easier to type).

Here’s my view on why this is a problem. When you are translating from one visual medium (comic books) to another visual medium (movies) you should not mess with the visuals. That being said, artistic license is ok, and re-imagining is fine. But at the core, the character has to be recognizable as the same in both.

For instance, there have been many actors to portray Superman. And all of them have been fair-skinned white men with black hair and blue eyes (well, a couple of them didn’t have blue eyes). If one were to cast Denzel Washington as Superman, how would people feel? He could do an amazing acting job, and he could make a great Superman. But he would not be Clark Kent/Kal-El Superman. He would be someone else.

Similarly, Gina Torres could do a wonderful acting job, and could make a great Wonder Woman. But she wouldn’t be Diana Prince. She would be someone else. To try to portray her as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman would be an insult to the fans of the comic book. And, IMHO, that’s who superhero movies are supposed to be made for. Yes, we want them to have a wider appeal. But honestly, is having a black Wonder Woman going to broaden her appeal enough to offset all of the pissed off fans?

All of that being said, there is a sliding scale on this point. The more iconic the character, the more close to the original they should be; the less iconic, the less strict. Case in point, the best part of the Daredevil movie with Ben Affleck was Michael Clark Duncan as the Kingpin. In the comics, the Kingpin is basically a white guy with the build of a sumo wrestler. However, by making him a black guy in the film, they were able to give him a more realistic “criminal rags to riches” background. Let’s face it, street gangs are not populated with white folk. And that’s not a call for social commentary, that’s just a statistical fact. And it worked because, outside of comic book fans, and fans of the 90’s Spiderman cartoon, no one really knows who Kingpin is. Therefore, less iconic character = less strict adherence to the source material.

And even so, the studio got a lot of flak for his casting. It was just that the film had so many other flaws, that that one was pretty minor in the grand scheme.

In my opinion, the bottom line is this: when dealing with iconic characters, either stick to the source material as closely as possible, or re-invent the character to be someone else. So, Gina Torres could make a very good Amazon, but she would have to be someone other than Diana.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Lazy Days of Winter

This weather has really been tramping down on me lately.  I have time to write, but zero motivation most days.  It's like when you're sick and nothing tastes good; no matter what I try to write, nothing sparks me.  I guess I should just knuckle down and write, and to hell with quality!  Just get words out on paper, so to speak.

I'm also feeling my age a bit lately.  I'm kind of tired from staying up late.  But honestly, between the 4 year old and the 10 year old, I can't do hardly anything fun during daylight hours that I want to.  So, I have to wait for them to go to bed.  And then I get maybe 2 hours before I'm ready to fling myself into bed too.

I really need to get myself back on track with exercise again.  I have let that slip a lot, and I'm feeling it.  I have been trying to cope by doing a lot of isokinetics and dynamic tension at my desk.  But, it's not quite the same.  What I really want is a punching bag to pummel.  That's some thereaputic exercise, right there!  Either way, the tempurature is supposed to be in the 50's today, so I will probably get a walk in, before they drop back down to the teens before the end of the week.

I am happy to not be in school for another week.  Checked my grades and got a 97.2% in my last class, including a 100% on my final (which I thought would score a bit less)!  So, I'm way stoked about that.  I hope I can keep that kind of academic momentum going for a while.

On a good note, I'm really getting into The Action Elite.  Working with Eoin (the site-owner) on some ideas for new content and new categories of content.  Fun times!  I'll be doing some articles on literary action heroes soon.  I'll probably start by recycling a one post on the subject from this blog.  But then I plan to discuss some action novels that have been made into movies.  Should be fun!

Related to that, I'm hoping to see some movies soon.  It may be too late to see The Last Stand in the theater, as it is tanking pretty bad.  But Bullet to the Head starts this Friday, and Parker opened kinda strong this past weekend, so it may stick around a bit.

We had to back out of the D&D game on Friday.  My wife had a debilitating headache, and there was no way I was going to let her stay home alone.  So, we're hoping to do a make-up this Sunday afternoon.  I hope we can, as we are at a huge clifhanger in the storyline, with a very important battle looming (my favorite part of the game).  Ahnuld demands blood for the god of war!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

New ventures and stuff

Note:  Yesterday's blog post was deleted shortly after publication due to some bad context on my part.  Basically, the message was partially misconstrued, and I felt like a dumbass for it.  So, I figured it was better to just make it all go away.  No worries, it wasn't really an Earth-shattering post anyways.

Moving on, I have officially started writing for The Action Elite.  Today sees my first piece, a review of Hunter Prey.  I love this site.  It's rife with reviews, commentary and news about all things action.  The focus is mainly on movies, but they do dip a bit into video games, cartoons and other stuff.  Basically, if it's Action, it's there.  I'm currently forming some ideas for future content.

I'm enjoying my time off from school this week.  During my evenings I can play XBox (Skyrim and HALO 4) without the niggling worry about homework that is due.  Yesterday, I went through my Academic Plan and figured out what classes I am going to take.  Three of them are electives, and I confirmed that those can be from any program area (the wording in my Plan was iffy on this point).  So, I have picked three History classes, and three Education classes.  Now I have to choose where to focus my energy.  Not sure if it will be worth it to take the Education classes without being in the Education program.  I might be better suited just taking the History ones, and maybe working for a Teaching Cert after I get the Master's degree, if I decide to take that path.

Decisions, decisions.

Work is slow (big surprise), so I have had some time to write.  Made some progress on my Sword & Planet story the other day, and will likely try to push it out before school starts on February 4th.  I'm already near the halfway point, so I think I can do this.

Interestingly enough, this story had several false-starts, and I was just not feeling it.  Then, on a whim I changed my perspective character, and started writing it in first person, and suddenly it started to flow!  I used to hate first person, but in recent months I have been finding it easier to write in than the regular third person I usually use.

I'm also reading for pleasure again.  Right now it's Joe Bonadonna's Space Opera Pulp adventure, Three Against the Stars.  Thoroughly enojoying it.  Next up will be Cyborg by Martin Caidin, the book that was the basis for the TV show The Six-Million Dollar Man.  Found a copy through my local library system.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Relieved and Worried

On Sunday I turned in my final exam for my class, thus ending yet another term.  I have 7 more classes to go before I get my masters (maybe less if I can get some transfer credits).  Not sure what happens then, but that's a while away, so I'll not think much on that for now.  I'm already trying not to think about school until February 4th, when my next term begins.

My 10-year old is having a sleep-over birthday celebration in a couple of weeks, so Isaac and I will be beating feet out the door and seeing an action movie.  Right now, we're probably leaning towards The Last Stand, Arnold Schwarzenegger's triumphant return to action cinema.  Or is it?

The film opened on Friday, and debuted at #10 at the box office.  This has a lot of action fans wringing their hands.  Back in the day Arnold would have debuted in the top five easily.  Normally, you could chalk this up to his 10 years out of movies (aside from an occasional cameo here and there), and his draw seeming to have waned.  But some people feel there is more going on here.

Let's face it, the current generation of movie-goers is a whole different breed than those of us who watched action films in the 80's and 90's.  The testosterone-filled, muscley heroes of yore have given way to the pretty-boy slick action movies of the "Bourne" generation.  And even these are not so numerous as the CGI-laden popcorn schlock, or even the endless stream of RomComs and Art-house indie films.

All that being said, 2013 promises to be a big year for old-school action.  Arnold in The Last Stand, Sly in Bullet to the Head, Bruce Willis in another Die Hard sequel (though thankfully this one will be a hard-R), and even Jason Statham has a couple coming out.  All in all, a very entertaining year for action fans.  But will it live up to our excpectations?  Will these films only be enjoyed by the select few, with the masses largely dismissing them, or waiting for the DVD release?

I have to admit, it makes me sad that the kind of movies I love just don't seem to be big enough draws to warrant their being made any more.  The Expendables films are an exception, and really, the draw of those was the novelty of seeing so many action guys on screen at the same time.  But, how many of those individual stars can draw a large crowd on their own now?  Especially when that crowd is made up of XBox Babies, who only want flash and slick style, or snobby art-house types, who deride action movies in general.

But, there is a glimmer of hope.  The Direct to Video market is rife with small-budget, quality action films.  Many of these feature mixtures of old-school action guys (like Jean Claude Van-Damme and Dolph Lundgren) and younger guys like Scott Adkins, creating a natural "passing of the torch" bridge between generations.   These movies actually do pretty well on video.  So, this may be where action fan must go in the future.  It sucks that we may not get to see a lot of great action on the big-screen anymore.  But more and more people are getting large-screen TVs these days, so that may be the next best thing.

Either way, I will try to see as many of the new action movies I mentioned above in the theater.  Something tells me this may be a "Last Hurrah" year for Action Cinema.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Space Opera TV

I'm taking a break from work and from my final essay exam.  It's not due until Sunday, with an extension to as late as next Friday.  I only have four questions to answer in 1-2 page essays about Greek history, so, despite losing a day due to technical glitches at the university, I am confident I can do it in plenty of time.

Anyways, this will probably be my final post about TV shows for the foreseeable future.  Today's topic is Space Opera TV.  Now, I feel compelled to define what that means.  To me, Space Opera is a sub-genre of Science Fiction that features the following in prominent roles:  Aliens, spaceships, and interplanetary travel.  Below are my favorite shows that fit that bill.

Stargate SG-1
I was tempted to put this under Sci Fi, as the premise of the show is modern military exploration.  However, from the first episode (indeed, the very movie that it's based on), it featured two of the three elements I need for Space Opera; aliens and interplanetary travel.  Travel is mainly done through the Stargate (basically it generates a wormhole to a specific location), but in later seasons spaceships were added, and featured quite prominently by the end of the show. All that being said, I LOVE this show, and have seen many of the episodes (it ran for nine seasons and had two spin-offs and a cartoon).  The cast was great, with Richard Dean Anderson (McGyver) being at the forefront.  The premise was very cool, and the production values were awesome.  I could go on and on (which I did last year), but suffice it to say, this is my favorite Space Opera/Science Fiction show ever.  The spin offs were good, but they never managed to hook me like this one did.

Star Trek
Since Star Trek has had six TV shows (including the animated show from the 70's) and eleven movies, it would be hard to nail down a single show.  I do count Voyager as my favorite, but really, I love all of them.  The Star Trek universe was unique in that it showed a hopeful future for mankind, relatively speaking.  It showed that man could overcome his own weaknesses and embrace the future and the universe with the same sense of adventure that our ancestors did when exploring our own little planet.  The aliens were alien enough, yet, through the magic of budgetary constraints, they were always relatable.  The technology was always cool, and just got cooler with each new show.  But really, it was always the characters.  Each show had a unique feel, and the characters all managed to really portray that well.  Honestly, Star Trek has always been one of the best-cast franchises on TV.

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century
This show was so cheesy that I really just can't watch it anymore.  However, when I was a kid I thought it was amazing!  Gil Gerard was another in that group of "Manly Men" that permeated 70's TV (along with my hero, Lee Majors), and this show was really slick for the time.  Obviously it was designed to appeal to the Star Wars crowd, and for the most part it did.  However, only the first season is even close to being watchable now.  The show took a severe turn for the second one, and it really went downhill fast.  Best part of it all:  Erin Gray.  Total TV fox.

Battlestar Galactica
Another attempt for TV to cash in on the Star Wars craze, this show was actually much better than Buck Rogers.  It was less cheesy, with slightly better special effects, and some really good casting and acting. Even though I don't have any specific memories of watching the show, I can remember being 100% convinced by it when I was young.  My favorite part was the costumes.  The pilot uniforms were reminiscent of Han Solo, without just being outright copies.  And really, were there any TV villains scarier than the Cylons?  I tried watching the reboot, but the first episode had way too much "shaky cam" and it gave me a headache.  I heard that after the first few, they toned that down, so I think I would like to revisit again, as I heard it was really good.

Firefly
Like my book-o-phile friends who still get angry when they think of the Library of Alexandria burning down, I still get angry when I think of how mishandled this show was when it first aired.  That being said, I have to admit that I was only marginally impressed when it first came out.  A western in space?  The premise seemed so silly.  And yet, it grew on me quickly, and when I was finally able to watch all of the episodes in the originally intended order, I fell deeply in love.  This show had one of the best casts of characters ever.  The writing and dialogue was amazing (thank you Joss Whedon, again), and the visuals were such a cool mix of high and low tech. Everyone has their favorite characters, and mine is Jayne Cobb.  He was probably the most well-rounded character.  I mean, each of the other ones wore their personality on their sleeves, but Jayne was the only one who always made you wonder.  I also have to say that, outside of Star Trek, this show had the best feature film continuation ever in Serenity.

Farscape
This was an unbelievably cool show that I really did not like at all when I first saw it.  However, as I learned when I tried to introduce my wife to it, you really have to watch it from the beginning to understand the subtleties and nuances.  Farscape takes the premise of Buck Rogers, and turns it on its ear. And it does it in very clever, witty, dramatic and action-packed fashion.  The cast of characters are excellent representations of standard Space Opera tropes, but each with a unique twist that makes the show quirky and fun.  The highlight of the show for me was always Ben Browder's comedic timing and lines. His "fish out of water" confusion was delivered with rapier wit that the audience laughed at, but was made even funnier by the fact that most of it went right over the other characters' heads.


Babylon 5
Next to Star Trek, this is probably the second most popular Space Opera show ever.  And it also happens to be the one on this list that I have watched the least of.  At the time it came out, there was just something that didn't jive with me.  I thought it was trying too hard to be a new Trek, and I didn't like that.  That being said, I can honestly say that, after watching quite a few episodes, I was converted, and quickly grew to like it a lot.  Some day I would like to go back and watch the whole series.  This one also spawned a short-lived spin off called Crusade, which I actually liked better.  However, that one didn't last a single season, I don't think.

As always, I know there are others.  But really, there just aren't enough.  I read a while back that the Fall 2011 season was the first season in decades that didn't have a Space Opera show in any lineup (aside from syndication).  This needs to be fixed.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Sci Fi TV

Continuing my recent trend with discussing television shows I like, today I wish to present my favorite Sci Fi TV shows.  Now, before you get your hopes up, you should know that this topic discusses shows with Sci Fi elements, but set in the modern day (more or less).  Shows that involve space travel and aliens are Space Opera, and will be covered next time.

So, here are my favorite Sci Fi shows, in no particular order.  As before, this is my short list, and probably does not include everything there is.  These are just the shows I like(d) watching.

The Six-Million Dollar Man
As a kid growing up in the 70’s, this was my all-time favorite show.  I have probably, over the course of my life, seen 90% of the episodes, as well as the various TV movies that have come out.  I wanted to BE Steve Austin.  I had the 12” action figure with the spaceship.  I had a burgundy denim suit that I used to run around in slow motion in.  When I played “spy”, my boss was always Oscar Goldman.  This was the “it” show for me.

Knight Rider
When this show came out, I was riveted.  The talking car that could self-drive; the turbo boost; the impervious paint; everything.  The story was dramatic as well, with interesting characters, and a unique premise.  This show also cemented my love for the Pontiac Trans Am (the seed first planted by Smokey and the Bandit).  To this day, I still love those cars.  I tried to watch the reboot, but it just did not grab me.  Plus, they used a Ford Mustang.  Ugh!

Voyagers
I have to admit that I don’t remember a whole lot about this show.  I just remember that I loved it as a kid.  I have watched a couple of episodes on NetFlix (or was it Hulu…?) recently, and it still stands up pretty good.  It’s a shame that Jon-Erik Hexum accidentally killed himself on the set of Cover Up a few years later (another good Action show, btw), because he really had a good screen presence.  I liked the idea that it was semi-educational, as well as entertaining.  Who knows, this may have been the thing that subconsciously planted the seed for my love of History.

Dark Angel
I only saw the first season of this show, but it totally rocked!  Never mind the fact that Jessica Alba was (and still is) smoking hot, the idea of a girl who was so kick-ass, living in a post-apocalyptic/cyberpunk future just made for great storytelling.  And with James Cameron at the helm, you knew it was going to be good.  I’ve always wanted to go back and watch Season 2.  But I heard it wasn’t as well-done.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Ok, I admit that when this show was first on, I avoided it like the plague.  To me, the only Buffy was Kristy Swanson from the movie.  But, after moving here, my wife got me into it, and we own the first two seasons on DVD.  I liked the characters, especially Xander, and the expanded premise was interesting.  It’s no wonder this one became a cult favorite, and cemented Joss Whedon as a Hollywood force to be reckoned with.  Without Buffy, there would be no Avengers. Not as we saw them in theaters, anyways.

V
The original mini-series’, as well as the regular series from the early 80’s.  I remember being in 6th grade, and they would run short clips of the show, building up a lot of tension and expectation for this show.  When it first aired, I was amazed.  It was really ground-breaking at the time, with the premise that an alien encounter may not be what it seems at first.  Of course, the backbone of the story was the Holocaust allegory.  But that just made the show that much better.  And it had Marc Singer (The Beastmaster) and Michael Ironside.  I never saw the remake from a few years ago, but I heard it was pretty good too.  I might have to look for that one.  I know this one really skirts the line between Sci Fi and Space Opera, as it did have aliens, and they did go into space.  But really, the show was about the human resistance here on Earth.

Honorable mentions:
The Bionic Woman
Quantum Leap
Max Headroom

Sliders

I know I am probably leaving a lot of shows out.  Especially ones that have come out in recent years.  Sometimes I think I should watch more TV.  But then I always think “There are more interesting things to be doing” so I don’t.

Next time, Space Opera.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Small Screen Action

Continuing my theme from the other day, I thought I would talk about some of my favorite “action” shows from the past.  And I mean from the “past” because I haven’t really watched TV for so long, I can’t really pass judgment on anything recent (though I did like the first couple of episodes of the Hawaii Five-0 reboot).  So, naturally, the majority of these shows will be from the 80’s (just like everything else I love).  As before, these are shows that I have watched significant portions of their runs.

It should also be noted that in this particular instance, I am only focusing on shows that take place in the modern world, and have a lot of action.  I think Sci Fi shows will be another post later on.

So, here’s my favs:

Magnum PI
This is by far one of my favorite shows of all time.  I love the premise, all of the characters, and the whole “pseudo-noir” detective vibe.  I mean, this show was the definition of cool; tropical locations, hot babes, cool car, cool helicopter, great action scenes.  It had a good blend of drama, action and comedy.  I had an idea for a reboot involving Magnum’s nephew.  I might have to flesh that out, just to see if anyone would buy it.  And that mustache.  It was practically a co-star.

Riptide
Another of a string of “buddy PI” shows, this one was pretty cool because it never took itself too seriously.  It was very similar in theme and tone to Magnum, so I liked it a lot.  The characters were fun, the helicopter was pretty nifty, and even the resident nerd was enjoyable to watch.  The action was well-done, and it had it’s fair share of hot babes and cool So Cal locations.

Raven
This little gem was cancelled during, or shortly after, its first season (happens a lot to my favorite shows).  It starred Jeffrey Meeks as a former Ninja/Special Forces operative, who has retired to Hawaii to look for his long lost son.  Great fight scenes, nice, over-the-top premise, and very cool settings and locations.  But, best of all, Lee Majors.  I love that man.

The Human Target
This is the second iteration of a show based on a comic book of the same name (the first starred Rick Springfield, and didn’t even last a full season).  This version starred Mark Valley (cousin to one of my local friends, and a fellow Army/Desert Storm Vet), and featured a great cast.  It was high on action, intrigue, danger, romance, and some pretty good sexiness.  Like many great shows, it didn’t take itself too seriously, and did a good job of blending action with drama and comedy.  I didn’t get to see any of the abbreviated second season, but the first season was pure awesome.  Oh, and Lee Majors.

The A-Team
Ok, who didn’t like this show?  With a cast of characters like this, that cool van, the travelling do-gooders premise, and the constant danger of being caught, you could totally forgive the fact that, despite them being a Special Warfare team, they never actually killed anyone.  And really, everything is better with Mr. T.  The interaction between BA and Murdock was pure TV gold!  Hell, I even liked the recent movie a lot.

Burn Notice
I discovered this show purely by accident one night, and went back and watched the entire first season on NetFlix.  I have been meaning to continue with the later seasons, but life gets in the way sometimes.  That being said, this show has a great premise, an awesome cast of characters (including the legendary Bruce Campbell), and some really great action and stunts.  The subplot of Michael clearing his name was well-maintained, and was never buried beneath the main premise of him just helping people out.  Even his family problems with his mom provided some great viewing.  All in all, one of the best action shows to come out in recent years.

Miami Vice
The very definition of 80’s cool, this show was a must-see.  In fact, I recently started watching it again on NetFlix, and I was surprised at how well-written it was.  I think this show was ahead of its time.  Aside from the plethora of hot locations, hot babes, and hot cars, this show had some really good characterizations, and truly dramatic moments.  And, on top of all that, it was pretty good as just a cop show, with police procedures and all that.  Really, a pioneering show, that, despite its entrenchment in 80’s pop-culture, stands up well after all these years.

Honorable Mentions:
The Fall Guy
Simon & Simon
Vanishing Son
Remington Steele


Interestingly, many of these shows had great theme music and songs as well.  Especially Magnum PI and Miami Vice.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Galaxy of Rage

I have this idea that has been swimming around in my head for a long time.  As you should know, I have recently completed the first phase of creating my own RPG based on the idea of the player characters being Orcs.  It’s called Life of Rage, and it’s in the “play test” stage (btw, I’m still looking for interested parties to look at it).

Well, for Christmas I got HALO 4.  It’s a beautiful game, and very slick, and it reminded me of everything I love about sci-fi, and especially military sci-fi.  So, now I have this idea for the first supplement for Life of Rage.  I call it Galaxy of Rage, and it is based on the premise that Orcs from a traditional fantasy setting are taken off-planet and thrust into a world that combines magic with high technology.

The premise is actually pretty old.  Games Workshop has been using it for decades for their Warhammer 40K game, and its various offshoots.  Additionally, Fantasy Flight Games had a D&D add-on game called Dragonstar that did exactly what I am talking about with all facets of a traditional fantasy world.  In fact, that’s where my idea originally came from.

So, my thought is to use the basic rules and mechanics from Life of Rage, and add on things like high tech weapons, futuristic skills, and of course, space battles and vehicles.  Originally I was thinking of writing it as a complete game, but now I am thinking I might just do it as a supplement.  Meaning, in order to play Galaxy of Rage, you would need to also have Life of Rage.

Anyways, it’s just an idea, and I will probably chip away at the project for a while, until I decide to make it a priority.  In the meantime, here is a vignette I wrote.  It was originally intended to be the beginning of a “Rambo”-type of story, but I think I will go a different route for this setting.  Enjoy!

###

Call of Duty
By Tom Doolan

Burkak the orc still remembered the Old World.  “Karneer” they called it.  Though to his tribe it was simply, “the world.”  He remembered when there was nothing beyond the lands of the orcs, elves, dwarves and men.  Wars were fought with axes and spears and swords.  Magic was what the mad sorcerers used to enslave his kind, and those who did not possess the power to fight it, or the will to withstand it.
But that was before the great Sky Ship came.  Before General Ortak came, and killed the Chieftain with a hand-held device that Burkak would later learn was called a pistol.  Ortak spoke of worlds beyond theirs, where orcs lived alongside men, dwarves, and even the hated elves.  Where petty racial squabbles were a thing of the past, and where the Great Empire of the One defended the citizens of hundreds of worlds from the threat of annihilation at the hands and claws of creatures far worse than those that existed on Karneer.
Ortak had asked for volunteers.  Burkak had been among the first.  He had found a new home in the Imperial Defense Force, and soon was serving in an infantry squad on faraway worlds.  Gone were his axe and shield; replaced by an Arcanoplast vest and helmet, and a plasma rifle.  However, he still carried his old war knife, as many of his kind did.
But the universe wasn’t as black and white as Ortak had painted it.  Yes, people of all races lived side-by-side within the Empire.  But the Emperor wasn’t nearly as benevolent, nor as all-powerful as the general had painted him to be.  And the IDF was actually only a loose collection of mercenary companies under contract.  During his first tour, Burkak had spent his time moving from one planet to another, fighting members of his own adopted Empire.
Even now, his unit, Hammer Squad of the 2nd Orc Company, was stalking a group of “renegade” elves on a planet covered by oceans and jungle-encrusted islands.  Their primary mission was to destroy a landing beacon, thus delaying the renegades’ support from arriving.

“Snaag to Burkak.”  The orc’s squad leader’s voice was loud in his head as the helmet amplified the telepathic transmission.
“Burkak here.”  He hissed.  He couldn’t quite master the art of speaking only with his mind.
“SitRep, over?” Situation Report.
“Target is active.  Count: two-zero combatants.  Primary: Sightlocked, over.”  Burkak adjusted his cheek on his DragonEye sniper’s rifle, and focused on the elf in chainmail, a rifle over his head.  Even at a distance of twelve-hundred paces, the orc could faintly hear the elf’s rousing speech as the small unit of commandoes prepared to board their stolen stealth shuttle.
“Roger that.”  Came Snaag’s reply.  “Boomer is set.  Will blow on your signal, over.”
“Affirmative.  Stand by.”  Burkak focused his site on center mass of the elf’s chest.  He let out his breath, held it there, and squeezed the trigger.  He was rewarded with a echoing “pop” and a buck, as the rail-gun fired its projectile at twice the speed of sound.  In an instant, the target’s chest exploded in a crimson spray, as the adamantine projectile the size of a man’s little finger impacted, tearing through the chainmail and the body beneath with devastating effect.
As the elf was flung off of his stand, an explosion ripped through the camp.  At the far end of the small clearing was the homing beacon, and in a fireball that would make a red dragon envious, the metal and wood structure was vaporized, taking with it several soldiers.
Before the remaining elves could regroup, the woods at the edge of clearing opposite the smoldering ruin of the beacon erupted in automatic fire.  In a handful of heartbeats, the elves were reduced to less than ten, each taking cover behind whatever they could find.  Burkak focused on one of these and fired again, to the same effect.  Return fire began shortly, but it was sporadic and wild.  Another target of opportunity was taken by Burkak’s rifle, but beyond that there was no more.
Over the helmet set Snaag’s voice called for “All clear.”  At that, Burkak gathered his gear, slung his rifle, and immediately began picking his way down the rough mountainside to the clearing.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

My Favorite Sitcoms

I have had periods in my life where I spend a lot of time watching TV, balanced with long periods where I just don’t watch any (like right now).  However, in recent months, I have been watching some through NetFlix.

I’ve kind of always been a fan of Sitcoms.  But lately a lot of them have been hit or miss from what I have seen.  Still, when I think back, I can recall a few that really stand out as exceptional TV.  This list is by no means comprehensive.  It’s based on shows that I have watched whole seasons of, rather than just a few episodes here and there.

The Dick Van Dyke Show
Dick Van Dyke is arguably one of my all-time favorite entertainers.  He can go from goofy to serious to just plain normal in the blink of an eye.  His original show was in black and white, and co-starred Mary Tyler Moore (who was a total fox), and centered around an Army vet who was working as the head writer for a variety show.  Hilarity ALWAYS ensued.  It’s my go-to show on NetFlix when I need a good giggle.

Friends
This was the seminal show of the 90’s.  These people were hipsters before hipsters were cool.  I think the one thing that made the show work so well is that they were all very different from each other, yet they shared a bond that really couldn’t be fully explained.  It just was.  I have to say, Chandler Bing was my favorite character, with Joey coming in a close second.  I watched this a lot when I first separated from my ex-wife.  I needed those laughs, and this show provided them in spades.  I would still love to see a reunion special with this cast.

Home Improvement
Tim “the Tool Man” Taylor was the everyman hero.  He was a former tool salesman with a buzzsaw wit, who hosted his own home improvement show.  He was the man’s man, the guy’s guy, and he had all the imperfections that go along with that.  The cast of characters on this show was awesome, and everyone played their part so well.  But really, this show was about being a family.  At it’s core, it made you feel good, even while making you laugh out loud.

Three’s Company
The premise alone makes this show worth watching.  A guy shares an apartment with two hot chicks.  But, in order to convince the landlord that no funny business is going on, the guy has to pretend to be gay.  Man this show was hysterical!  John Ritter (God rest his soul) was at the top of his game, and the whole cast was so fun to watch.  Although I like Mr. and Mrs. Roper better than when Don Knotts came on, even he was pretty funny.  I’ve always wondered what the gay community thought of this show…

Laverne & Shirley
Everyone loved Happy Days, so who wouldn’t love a spin-off?  Two girls in the early 60’s making a living working at the fictional Shotz Brewery in Milwaukee, while sharing an apartment in a building with two iconic goofballs, Lenny and Squiggy.  I can recall watching this show a lot when I was a kid.  In the later seasons they moved to California, and although it was still pretty funny, it wasn’t quite the same.

George Lopez
Executive Producer Sandra Bullock approached stand up comedian George Lopez about doing a show based on a Latino family, without focusing on the stereotypical Latino culture.  What came of that was an amazingly funny show.  When my son was first born, and my wife was on maternity leave, we spent every weekday evening watching this show and Home Improvement on cable.  The theme song, “Lowrider” still makes me giggle when I think of how we used to make Connor dance to it as an infant.

Mork & Mindy
Another Happy Days spin-off, this show introduced the world to one of the funniest men alive, Robin Williams.  As an alien who understands nothing about humans, his childlike innocence combined with his childlike wisdom made Mork one of the most endearing characters on TV.  And the relationship with Pam Dawber’s Mindy was great, as it progressed pretty naturally through the show.  I liked all of the little alien details they added about Mork, especially that Orkans aged backwards.  Which was hilariously illustrated when their son was born, played by the hysterical Jonathan Winters.

WKRP
“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”  Honestly, it’s lines like this that just made this show so awesome.  The whole cast was funny as hell, and delivered this clever dialogue with perfect comedic timing.  Dr. Johnny Fever was my favorite, but Les Nessman always made me laugh too.  For a while, my wife and I would sit in bed and just watch episodes of this (and Ghost Hunters) on Hulu.  Good times!

One thing that I noticed is that, with the exception of Mork & Mindy, all of these shows had extremely memorable themes and theme songs.  I can actually still sing along with most of them.  Though I think WKRP is still my favorite of these.

Honorable mentions:
All in the Family
The Jeffersons
Family Ties
Seinfeld
Married with Children


I know I am probably overlooking a ton of shows.  So, what are some of your favorites?

Monday, January 7, 2013

The New Year Begins

2013 promises to be an eventful year in the Doolan household, on many levels.

First of all, my oldest daughter graduates this summer.  We are planning a trip out to Las Vegas where she lives with her mom to see the ceremony.  Then, logistics willing, we will be immediately moving her out here to Wisconsin.  Her plan is to attend cosmotology school here in Madison, but she's not sure when she will want to start that.  I figure she's young, and she has plenty of time.  So, no pressure.  It will be nice to have her around for good.  We just sent her back to Vegas after the Winter break this past Saturday, and we are all feeling sad about that right now.

We are also looking at, hopefully, buying a house this year.  Probably by the Summer.  My wife has her sights set on a specific house, and it looks very promising.  If we can get it, I will finally get the reading/writing/geeking room that I always wanted.  We just need certain elements to fall into place.  The only thing I am dreading is shoveling snow, and fixing what breaks.  I'm inherently lazy, and I think that stuff will test me sorely.

Sydney turns 10 this month, so, thankfully, she won't be causing any major upheavals in the house (you know, besides being a pre-teen girl).  Connor, however, will be starting Kindergarten this fall.  That will be interesting.  It could be hit or miss, as he sometimes has a naughty streak a mile wide.  But for some reason, he is pretty well-behaved at day care, and at other peoples' houses.  So, we'll see how that goes.  First things first, though:  PUT THE POOPY IN THE POTTY!!!

Isaac will be starting actual classes in a few weeks.  So far he has been doing High School online, and it's not to his liking.  I can't really blame him.  I've been doing college online for years, and it still irritates me sometimes. He's starting to get comfortable in our home, and is working through some issues he's had.  It was great to see him and Faith interact over the holidays.  I can safely say I am glad we helped him out, and that he's around.  He helps us with the kids, and he helps me with Skyrim and now HALO 4 (though he has already beaten it).

On the writing front, a few good possibilities.  First off, Weird Tales is supposed to have an all Sword & Sorcery issue this year, and it should feature one or both of my stories.  Not sure how that will go, as I have not heard anything in months about it.  But, I'm still optimistic.  I also sent out some draft copies of Life of Rage last week, so I hope to have that complete and ready for public consumption within the next few months.  And finally, a short that I submitted a couple of months ago has made it to the final round of selection.  So, I am also hopeful that that goes through too.

In the meantime, I have a few short stories that I am making some progress on.  And I am also simmering the Agesilaus book on the back burner, and hope to make some good progress on that this year.

All in all, life is pretty good these days.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Hawk the Slayer!

Yesterday I was perusing some of my old posts, and I came across the ones where I list my five favorite fantasy films, and my five favorite craptactular fantasy films.  It was commented on each that I had overlooked Hawk the Slayer.  And I had to admit that I had never seen it.  It was something that I always felt was missing, as it came out about the time I started playing D&D.

Well, many moons ago, I had a habit of downloading torrents of old shows and movies that were long out of print.  (I have to rant a bit here:  I think downloading torrents is morally questionable.  I generally refuse to download anything newer than five years, or that is still produced commercially.  If I do, it's usually just for "preview" purposes, and if I like it, I will go out and buy it.  That being said, I haven't downloaded a torrent in over a year now.)  Anyways, I found a torrent of Hawk the Slayer and downloaded it.  And there it sat, in DivX format, for months on end, until I completely forgot I had it.

Well, a couple of months ago I got a free converter that creates MP4 files from other video formats, and converted a few old movies so I could put them on my iPhone.  And this included Hawk the Slayer.  So, for about a month, I carried my old iPhone around with this movie on it.  Until I finally just watched it.

The Good:  I liked the premise and the story.  I liked the characters, and the over all presentation.  It really was a D&D movie, and you could totally put every character into a class.  Although, Interestingly enough, I saw it as more of an AD&D movie, rather than a Basic D&D movie; the elf used no magic, the dwarf was a thief, etc.

The Bad:  Just about every other aspect.  The acting was largely horrible (though I thought the Dwarf was well-done), and even Jack Palance over acted his part.  Though not quite as badly as Jeremy Irons in the first official D&D movie.  The special effects were cheap, even for the time, and I cringed whenever the elf would rapid-fire his bow, or even speak.  The music was horrible, but oddly, kind of fun.

Over all, this was a total B-movie from the early 80's.  And I had fun watching it!  Although I have to say, the entire time I was watching it, I couldn't help imagining what a remake done today would be like.  Honestly, some talented artists with a couple of decent cameras and a good computer could produce something better than this.  That being said, this one was still more palatable than the Midnight movie.  If you haven't seen that...be grateful.

In the end, I think if I can find a copy on DVD, I would probably buy Hawk the Slayer, just to add it to my collection.  I mean, heck, I own both of Lou Ferrigno's Hercules movies.

Interesting tidbit:  While checking out the IMDB site, I discovered that John Terry (Hawk) has been acting for a long time, and is still around.  And I also discovered that he played Felix Leiter in Timothy Dalton's first Bond film, The Living Daylights.  I knew he looked familiar!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

The Hobbit


To start the new year, I thought I would give you my thoughts on The Hobbit. Thanks to a Christmas gift from friends, we were able to get out this weekend and actually see it. And I have to say, I really liked it.

First of all, let me address whatever negatives come to mind. Probably the only thing that bothered me was the Goblin King. He was way too big, and way too articulate. I mean, if I recall, he may have been somewhat articulate in the book, but as a goblin, even the king, he seemed to have too much personality, if that is possible. That being said, the overall scene was very satisfying, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. So, really, that complaint is extremely minor.

My other complaint was how the dwarves looked. From the first images presented, I was disconcerted that so many of them looked fake and rubbery. And even when I started watching the movie itself, I was a little put off by that. But, once the narrative started rolling, and the personalities started coming out, I was easily able to forget my previous misgivings, and really embrace the dwarves. Everyone is ga-ga over Thorin, but honestly, I like Dwalin the best. He was the kind of character I would play in a D&D game. And since that is one of the measuring sticks I often use when watching these kinds of films, he got extra points.

I have a few friends who are Tolkien purists. These friends had some issues with the way some of the story was presented. FYI, in case you didn’t know, some of the story was changed to fit in characters and situations not presented in The Hobbit, but rather in The Silmarillion, and I think some of the other tertiary Middle Earth works by Tolkien. These bits and pieces were woven into the basic story of The Hobbit, in order to flesh it out and give it a more epic feel on par with the first trilogy of films.

One of the main things that got some (minor) complaints was Azog. Personally, I liked him in the movie. A lot. I thought he added some extra danger to the story that simply wasn’t there in the book. You have to remember that The Hobbit was a children’s book, by Professor Tolkien’s account. And, aside from his verbose prose, it reads like one. With the addition of these dangerous and dramatic elements, it lifted the book into a more “mature” story, which I found to be more enjoyable.

Smaug. My only complaint about him was that we didn’t get enough of him on screen. In my mind, Smaug is the dragon by which all later fictional dragons are measured. And the ending shot of the film sent a thrill through me.

The movie was well-paced, beautifully shot (as good as, and even better than in some places, the first trilogy), and well-cast. The acting was pretty much perfect, and it was nice to see the whole thing woven into the original trilogy for continuity (though you could clearly see that the actors had aged somewhat in the last ten to twelve years).

Over all, this was a rousing adventure on a scale that is a rarity in Hollywood. If you like fantasy at all, whether you have read the book or not, everyone should see this movie. I eagerly away the next part.