Friday, December 23, 2011

Last day of “work” in 2011

John L. Sullivan
This post needed some random manliness.
I’m sitting at my desk on a Friday afternoon. But not just any Friday; it’s the one before Christmas. And I literally have nothing to do. Most of the people here are taking an extended weekend for the Holiday. I’m taking all of next week off, so I am here today. My boss is here too. But, since he has no meetings scheduled, he is spending his day getting caught up on a lot of stuff. Stuff that I can’t help with, really.

So, what do I do with myself as I watch the clock slowly tick towards quitting time? Well, a lot of Facebook, some emails, internet researching, etc. I even started some homework. In fact, homework is probably what I should be doing. But I just can’t bring myself to concentrate on that.

On a related note, I am pondering the idea of changing the focus of my major from Ancient and Classical Cultures to American History. I’m not really sure why. I love ancient cultures, but there is so much about them that I don’t know. Now, conventional wisdom says that that is precisely why I am in school, right? To learn more? But sometimes I feel like I don’t even know as much as I should. I blame that on the circumstances surrounding me getting my degree (as in taking 14 years to do it), but there you have it. I have not retained nearly enough historical knowledge.

So, why American History? Well, whenever I read about it, I am drawn in. From the Native Americans (a slightly misleading term, by the way), to the Revolutionary War, to the Civil War and the subsequent “Wild West” period. I like reading about it all. It’s more personal. I love Sparta and Athens, but I can’t personally relate to any of those cultures. Yet, I can relate to the plight of the Irish immigrants in Boston in the 1880’s. To the founding fathers, who, despite their relative faults compared to modern sensibilities, were brilliant men with vision that dwarfs anything any of our own political leadership can conjure.

In short, American History is my history. It’s the history of who I am as an American. Fortunately, I’m in my first term, and I’m pretty sure that the two classes I am currently in will carry over to the new focus. So, it won’t be such a leap. But it will be into an area that I am already more familiar with, will probably be more comfortable studying, and will be able to garner at lease some passion about.

In the meantime, I’m still writing. I have decided to write two more sequels to the Orc Space Pirate story I wrote, Blackskull’s Captive! My goal is to flesh out Captive to about 15k words (right now it’s a trim 9k), and then write two more stories of about 15-20k each. Then I will package them all together as a book. Whether I try to go with a traditional publisher, or self-publish an e-book, I don’t know. But, with a final length of around 45-50k, I’m thinking an e-book would be better. Too short for today’s publishers. Anyways, the second story got a full plot outline, and some thumbnails of the main characters, so that’s moving along nicely. And I know where and how the whole saga ends, so it shouldn’t be but a matter of writing from here on out.

And then here comes Christmas. My daughter comes to visit all next week, and I am very excited to see her again. I miss her when she is gone. But, thanks to the internet and texting, I dare say we have a closer father-daughter relationship these days than most men who live with their daughters have. Certainly it’s better now than it has been for us. But, a large part of that is the fact that she is 16, and can see through the screens of BS her mother puts up to the real truths. In the end she knows I love her, and I only want what’s good for her. And she appreciates that. As a dad, that means a lot.

So, there you go. Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, etc. Happy New Year to all, and I hope 2012 is a better year for everyone involved. I may post something during my vacation, but don’t hold your breath. Between spending time with my kids and family, doing some homework, and playing Star Wars: The Old Republic, I’ll most likely be swamped.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Star Trekkin’ Across the Universe!

Despite spending about four hours last night playing Star Wars: The Old Republic (very fun game, and more immersive than any other MMO, in my experience), I find myself unexpectedly in a Star Trek mood today. This happens a lot. It usually only takes a glimpse of something Star Trek-related, and my brain is off and running. I think today it was an ad for StarTrek.com.

Anyways, I got to thinking about my favorite parts of Star Trek; shows, characters, ships, quotes, etc. So, here are some of my favorites in a few different categories. No doubt a lot of this will get me hazed to no end by my Trekkie (and Trekker) friends. But, as always, I likes what I likes. Sue me.

*Note: None of my list includes anything from Enterprise. For some reason, that show never caught on with me, and I don’t think I ever watched more than a couple of full episodes. I’m not saying that it was bad show, I’m just saying that I never watched it, and therefore can’t comment on it.

Favorite Captain: James T. Kirk
This was actually a tough one. Each of the Captains has brought something new and different to that chair. Even some of the peripheral Captains are pretty damn cool (Captain Sulu of the Excelsior, anyone?). But, when it all comes down to it, it was Kirk’s rogue attitude, his penchant for thumbing his nose at regulations to get the job done, and his loyalty to his crew and friends that made him an amazing character, and the greatest Starship Captain to grace the screen. He is iconic, and sets the standard that all of the rest must measure themselves by. I thought Chris Pine NAILED the character perfectly, but I will always be a Shatner-fan.

Favorite Series: Voyager
This is where the booing, hissing, and eye-rolling occur. But what can I say? Star Trek meets Lost in Space is a pretty cool concept. Add to that a neat ship, some great and memorable characters (Janeway is my second favorite Captain), and the best uses of the Holodeck to date. Voyager tread new ground, while still holding true to the original spirit of Star Trek. More so than any other show, IMHO.

Favorite Ship: Constitution-refit
It may be nostalgia, since my love of Trek began with the TOS-era movies, but this ship still gets me excited for Trek. It has the sleek lines and flowing style that I like, without excessive details (like the Enterprise-D's windows). It’s not a huge ship, but it can hold its own against just about anything in the Galaxy. All-in-all, though I like many other ships in the Trek-verse, this one is the one that I always enjoy looking at the most.

Favorite Supporting Character: Ensign Kim
This was a REALLY tough choice. Tougher than the Captain. There are so many great characters. Even if I were to narrow it down to just Voyager, it would still be a tough choice. But I always liked Kim, because I could relate to him more than anyone else. He was young, naïve, wet-behind-the-ears, and yet had a lot of common sense, intelligence, and ingenuity. Plus, he had a holodeck program of Beowulf. You just don’t get any cooler than that!

Favorite Quotes:
All my favorite quotes come from the TOS-era movies. And usually involve Bones. He always seemed to have the best lines.

Kirk: *Giving the Vulcan hand sign* How many fingers do I have up?
McCoy: That’s not very damn funny.
- Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

Kirk: Spock, where the hell's the power you promised?
Spock: One damn minute, Admiral.
- Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

McCoy: My God, man. Drilling holes in his head isn't the answer.
- Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

General Chang: I am constant as the northern star!
McCoy: I'd give real money if he'd shut up.
- Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

So, what are your favorite Star Trek elements?

Friday, December 16, 2011

Orcish Martial Arts?


http://nexodus.deviantart.com/art/orc-fighter-sketch-11437127
Image of this badass orc
borrowed without permission.

The idea of martial arts in fantasy has been bandied around and used for a long time. However, it is usually in relation to the more “civilized” races. But, imagine if a culture such as Orcs had developed an organized fighting art.

In order to imagine this, one has to first define what kind of culture the Orcs in question live in. There seems to be as many different types of Orcs and Orc Cultures as there are fantasy writers willing to write about them. From Tolkien’s hate-filled brutes, to Stan Nicholl’s near-human warriors of honor, to World of Warcraft’s tribal crusaders; the common threads seem to be that Orcs are strong, brutal warriors. So, it would stand to reason that any fighting art developed by Orcs, regardless of culture, would be filled with offensive strikes, debilitating defenses, and the mindset that “anything goes” in a fight.

Techniques
As an eclectic martial artist myself (though way out of shape and practice), I am drawn to the more direct, non-flashy styles of fighting; boxing, kickboxing, Krav Maga, etc. I think Orcs would feel the same way. In fact, I would wager that your average Orc would get a huge kick (no pun intended) out of MMA. So, in my mind, an Orcish martial art would resemble that. Imagine Randy Couture with green skin and tusks.

For techniques we’re looking at a lot of heavy punches, direct kicks, and maybe some simple joint locks and throws. But Orcs wouldn’t abide by no rules, so head butts, groin shots and rabbit punches would be pretty normal. Hell, even a bite or finger gouge would be called for, should the need arise. Punches and kicks would be heavy, with the aim of crushing flesh and bone. Joint locks would be designed to break limbs, or at least disable them. And throws would preferably involve a solid object to aim your opponent’s body at.

An Orcish martial art would probably operate on the principle of “The best defense is a good offense.” While blocking an attack would be something that would be done, it would most often be done in a way that the blocked appendage would suffer some damage. Basically, an incoming punch makes the arm your new target, etc. And like many Asian arts, defending yourself while making a simultaneous counter-attack would be the norm. Add to this dodging, bobbing, and weaving, and you have all the defense you need.

Conditioning
I always envisioned Orcs who “train” doing so in very strenuous ways. Physical strength and endurance would be paramount, so many of their exercises would involve developing those attributes. Kettle bells are an ancient tool for strength-training, and I envisioned in one story I was writing that Orcs would use something similar. Basically two round stones of equal weight, with rope handles attached. There are tons of exercises one could do with these, not the least of which would be to simply carry them from place to place.

Your average Orc village won’t have access to any kind of gym equipment, so calisthenics would be largely used. Push ups, pull ups, and squats might form the foundation. Then add in running, rope-climbing, and moving around various sizes of logs and stones. For an idea of the kinds of things Orcs might do, watch a Strong Man Competition or Highland Games. Those guys are animals!

As anyone who has ever punched a heavy bag, or even a person, can attest, if your knuckles aren’t either protected or conditioned (or ideally both), you can hurt yourself pretty bad. And that will end your fight or training session real quick. So, how would Orcs condition their knuckles? The answer: Punch a tree. Similar to how Wing Chun artists use a wooden dummy and sand bags, Orcs would practice punching solid objects that, while solid enough to resist their force, would be pliable enough to not break every bone upon impact. A nice, ripe Pine is perfect. The bark is thick, and the trunk is solid. Besides, who cares about trees anyways? They’re an asset. The same could go for kicks, knee strikes, and elbow strikes. You ever see Van Damme’s Kickboxer? That’s some harsh, Orcish training right there.

Practicing
Most formal martial arts involve choreographed movements done in a specific order, usually referred to as forms or katas. These are designed to develop muscle memory on how the body moves from one technique to the next logical technique, in response to a likely attack or target. However, Orcs would probably eschew such formalities. Rather than performing a “dance” with an imaginary foe, Orcs are more likely to test their knowledge and abilities on live targets. Ideally, each other. Therefore, students in a class would be encouraged to pick fights with one-another. These might be formal challenges, or on-the-spot walking up and punching someone. No hard feelings are usually left after it’s over. And if they are, so what? Are you an Orc or a pansy Elf?

That being said, chances are Orcs would be pragmatic enough to know to pull back a little. Especially when applying joint locks and other wrestling-type moves. Pile-driving your foe’s head into a rock might work when fighting for your life. But in practice, well, it’s just a waste of resources. If you kill your foe in practice, who are you going to practice with next time? And when it comes down to it, if you go to battle, you want as many fighting-worthy mates with you as possible.

Conclusion
So, what do we have now? We have a brutal, no-holds-barred style of fighting that closely resembles a WWE wrestling match combined with the Spartan agoge. Savvy martial artists might come to the conclusion that this martial art could be seen as Bruce Lee’s Jeet Kune Do on steroids. Either way, Orcs who practice this art would be formidable, scary, and downright nasty in a fight. But, it wouldn’t stop there. This unarmed form is just the beginning. Once the Orc learns to deal damage and mayhem with his bare hands (and feet, knees, elbows, head, teeth…) he gets to learn to apply all of that to weapons!

So, what do we call this art? Ideas?

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A Real American Hero!

Oddly, growing up first in homes without the benefit of much watchable TV, and then overseas where we had a single English-language channel to watch, a lot of the cartoons of the early 80’s are kind of lost on me. The original incarnations of Dungeons & Dragons, Thundercats, He-Man, Voltron, and G.I. Joe were all, for one reason or another, unavailable to me at the times of their release (actually FEN got Voltron, but I never liked it). In recent years I have made some efforts to reconcile this, to little success.

Most of those original cartoons look like crap to me, now. The 2005 re-incarnation of He-Man is cool, though, and I own it on DVD. The one I always wanted to like, but still can’t get into, is G.I. Joe. I had some of the toys, and I played my own stories out. But, instead of leading me to the cartoon, they lead me to Mack Bolan, and so my military action fix was in the Executioner series, and some of the knock-offs.

Then Hollywood brought G.I. Joe to the big screen in live-action. And I liked it quite a bit. The first film was a little hokey maybe, and definitely aimed at the nostalgia crowd, but still a fun ride. Now, there is a second one coming out. And this one features Dwayne Johnson. For those who don’t know, I LOVE Dwayne Johnson. I think he is amazingly talented for what amounts to a jock-turned-actor. He has a terrific sense of comedic timing, an amazing screen-presence, and is just fun to watch.

So, when you put him in a G.I. Joe movie with a rather dark and sinister plot…well, this is just good action movie-making, in my opinion. In this, the first trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation, we are treated to some really good visuals, the promise of some superior action, and even a surprise star at the end. I got giddy when that part showed up…



Between this, Expendables 2, and The Avengers, I am excited about movies again.

And now I wish I could play a military action RPG…

Monday, December 5, 2011

Guns for Toddlers!

For Halloween 2010, my wife dressed up as Tank Girl (totally hot!), and she had a plastic AK-47 to complete the look. Not that accurate to the comic book, but close enough for a costume party. Well, after Halloween my son started playing with the thing. He liked shooting me and watching me do the “bullet dance” and even started doing it himself when we shot him with it.

Yeah, we’re sick, I know. I can almost hear the heart attacks of Bleeding Heart Liberals out there. *cackling with glee*

A few weeks ago my wife took him outside to play in the apartment complex’s playground on one of the last “nice” days of the season. While there, he was apparently running around shooting the other kids with a Nerf gun. “PEW-PEW-PEW!!” Makes my heart swell with pride.

For Christmas last year, my wife got me a kick-ass Nerf machine gun. Unfortunately, there are inherent problems. I can totally see my son riddling his sister and the cats with Nerf darts. And those darts would end up chewed on by those cats, and pieces of them everywhere. So, I have yet to actually unpack the darts, and may never do so (as an aside, the gun will someday make a fine sci-fi soldier prop).

This is the exact one I got.

So, there seems to be two schools of thought on the whole “toy gun” issue. One is that they will trivialize guns, making them into nothing but playthings for kids, should they get ahold of a real one. My issue with that is when it happens, it can usually be traced to being the parents’ fault for not clarifying the difference between “reality” and “fantasy.” Which is the main problem, IMHO. Columbine, for instance; those kids killed because they played DOOM, right? No, they killed because they were mentally troubled kids whose parents were passively neglecting them (YMMV...this is not a political debate).

As you can imagine, I’m on the other side of the fence. Toy guns are fine, and are a long-time tradition for little boys (and probably for little girls sometimes). Since my 3-year old will probably never see a real-life gun until he is MUCH older (as in he’s an adult), chances are by the time he does, he will have learned to respect the weapon for what it is. In the meantime, it’s just playtime and make-believe. And it’s not like I encourage him to kill things. Hell, he throws things at his sister and the cats already, for which he is scolded and punished on a regular basis. However, despite the violent nature of his antics, I know that at the core, he’s just playing (you can see it in his face when he’s serious…just like me).

So, what it all this about? It’s about Christmas, and my idea for a present. I’m thinking of getting him some kind of toddler-sized rifle. Something bizarre-looking, that bears little to no resemblance to anything real. Nerf is GREAT for that sort of thing. Or maybe something like this…
After all, it is about time to start educating him on Star Wars.

Friday, December 2, 2011

John and Frank

Many of you may not know that John Buscema  (December 11, 1927–January 10, 2002) is my all-time favorite comic book artist.  He is probably one of the most influential artists in the medium this side of Jack Kirby, and he practically invented "The Marvel Way" of comic book art.  I belong to a Facebook group for his art, and they post pictures of his work on a daily basis.  There have been several pics of the Punisher, and I always loved those.

On a whim, I did a Google search for Punisher pics by Big John, and discovered a trade paper back that collected a five-issue story arc from 1994's Punisher: War Zone.  It immediately went on my Amazon wish list.  But last week, I found a copy in my local comic shop, and being one to support local businesses, I picked it up.

The story is called "Barbarian With a Gun" and it is awesome.  Written by Chuck Dixon, one of my favorite comic book writers, and illustrated (pencils and inks) by John Buscema, it seemed a win-win without really even trying.  But try and succeed it did.  The story is typical Punisher, except that instead of the dirty streets of New York, the action takes place in fictitious sub-tropical island nation known as Puerto Dulce.  Through the story Frank is put to the test.  He is beaten, shot at, and otherwise abused.  But through it all he perseveres in typically stoic Punisher fashion.  The story also boasts some great dialogue with Microchip, Frank's nerdy computer-whiz sidekick, and a guest star from Marvel's comic The 'Nam, Iceman.  The ending is a pretty cool piece of irony.

But for me, the best part is John Buscema's artwork.  It is always a pleasure to see, and makes any book worth reading, IMHO.  Inerestingly, this TPB collects five issues, but the fifth issue was only broken down (rough pencils) by John, and finished by Tom Palmer.  And you can tell.  Tom is a good artist, but something is lost when he finishes John's work.  However, John's layouts and breakdowns are still very evident, so it's forgivable.  the only other critique I had was that the covers for each individual issue weren't done by John, and don't really reflect the story within very well.  but, that's typical for comic books in general.

I had the chance to meet John at the San Diego Comic Con in 2001.  But, I was shy and chickened out.  He passed away that following January, and I have been kicking myself ever since.

All that being said, if you enjoy a good Punisher story, and enjoy John's art, I highly recommend this book.