Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween!

I don't normally do horror or spooky stories, but I started this little one a while back with the intention of submitting it, yet couldn't finish in time.  So, I finished it yesterday and this morning.  I don't know if it's any good.  I don't know if it's really that scary.  But, I kind of like it.  Hope you enjoy!

Spirit of Wood
By Tom Doolan

Trey ran. He ran like his life depended on it. And that’s because it did. He knew it was dumb to be out on the street this late, but the time had gotten away from him at Jason’s house. Their game ran past his curfew, and so he had bolted for home.

But right now, the trouble he would face from his mom was nothing compared to what he would face if the three older kids who were chasing him managed to catch him. He had a good lead on them, but they were much taller, and were closing the gap. Trey turned on a dime into a narrow alley, hoping to lose them. The alley was dark, and he was navigating mainly by hopes and prayers. But those proved futile, as he came up to a dead end.

His breathing became even more erratic as the twelve-year old kid from the south side of Chicago searched for some kind of exit, his feet shuffling madly through a pile of paper and refuse. Then he stopped. A light was shining on him, and he turned into the glare of a flashlight. He could now hear over his own panicked breathing the hungry breaths and vile cackles of the four gang members who stood before him, blocking his only exit from the alley.

Trey’s heart sank and he fought the urge to cry.

“What’s the matter little boy? You lost or somethin’?” The voice came from the right of the flashlight.

“It ain’t nice to walk on our turf without permission. You gots ta show some respect!”

“Yeah, respect!”

“Just leave me alone!” Trey gave up and the tears began to flow now. This brought a new round of laughter, and a shadowy form emerged from the left of the flashlight.

“Oh, sure. You pay your fine, and we’ll leave you alone.”

“I ain’t got no money…” Trey pleaded.

“Oh.” A menacing pause. “That’s too bad.” The form of the older boy was right before him now, and just as he stepped in front of the light, Trey felt painful crack to the side of his head. His vision swam, and he toppled like a felled tree. He was dimly aware that his backpack was being ripped from his body, and the boys were cackling evilly as they rummaged through his game books and dice.

“Fucking geek. He ain’t got nothin’ worth shit in here.”

“I dunno, man. I hear those cards go for some cash.”

“Well, we’ll take em’ then.” The sound of shuffling feet getting closer worried Trey, who opened his eyes to find the older kid who had hit him standing over him. “Too bad you’re broke, kid. Cuz now we gotta take the balance in blood.” With that Trey felt a swift kick to his ribs, and his world exploded in a breathless flash of pain and light. He wanted to cry even more, but he couldn’t breathe. All he could do was try to tense for the next kick.

But it never came.

The air was vibrating, that much he could feel, even as his breath started coming back. Then a horrible shriek pierced the night, and he opened his eyes again. The boy who had kicked him was hanging in the air by his foot. Trey gasped slightly, his ribs still sore, his breath still shallow.

The other two boys stood transfixed. The one with the flashlight was waving it around wildly, both of them shrieking.

“What the fuck, JJ!”

“Oh shit! Get me down…aaaggh!!”

JJ’s scream was joined by the other two as they all finally saw what had him. Trey scrambled back against the wall, the site before him more frightening than the prospect of a beating a few moments before.

The creature that stood between Trey and the other boys was nothing more than a pile of trash and refuse come to life. Stray paper and boxes and cartons of all make and design coalesced into a man-shaped form, stooped and menacing. The head was a mass of swirling newspaper, punctuated by two, glowing green eyes the size of apples. They glared at the boy in the creatures’ grasp, even as a mouth-like hole below the eyes opened, issuing forth a piercing hiss, like that of a punctured tire, but with a sinister screech underlying it.

Friendship and the “family” if gang-life was strong, but for the two boys on the ground, it was not strong enough to withstand the terror they felt, and as one they screamed and ran from the alley, leaving JJ to the mercies of whatever this thing was. Trey wanted to run too, but there was something in him that was drawn to the beast. And it must have sensed it in him, because that awful face turned toward him, and loomed close. Their eyes met, and JJ’s screams and babbling were ignored as two spirits communicated. For a moment, Trey knew what it knew. It felt his anger and hatred at JJ, which rivaled his fear of the creature. Their minds spoke, and as one they looked at the wriggling form in the creature’s grasp, and suddenly Trey wasn’t afraid.

The creature pulled JJ towards its eyes, and the orbs began to glow brilliantly. A trail of vapor issued from JJ’s mouth, cutting off his screams, his eyes bulging. The vapor became a steady stream, and Trey became aware of a sound, not unlike crumpling cardboard. In the dim light of the creatures eyes, he could see JJ’s body begin to whither, even as the creature’s own form began to expand.

Through all of this, Trey was mesmerized. He had no fear that he would suffer the same fate as JJ. A small voice in his mind was repulsed by what he saw, but it was quickly hushed by a presence of supreme anger and rage he felt growing within him.

As JJ’s body continued to shrivel, Trey became aware that his pains had subsided. In fact, the wound on his head felt as only a memory, and he could breath deep and easy. It was then that he noticed that his feet were surrounded by the trails of trash, connecting him to the creature. And he knew what was happening.

At this realization, the creature’s eyes dimmed to a dull glow once more, and he dropped the now quite dead body of JJ. Trey was only passively aware of the body hitting the ground, his whole mind being focused on that of the creature before him. Once more, it stooped, and the pair locked gazes.

In Trey’s mind, he saw and felt what this creature was and is. He felt elation and peace as images of a pristine forest hosted figures in brightly painted colors danced about in celebration. But then, the images faded, and with that came the sensations of cold, longing and betrayal. Once worshipped and revered, the onslaught of man and his machines corrupted the spirit of the wood, twisting and churning it to pulp. Now the spirit was bitter, spiteful…and mournful. A great sadness lay beneath the veneer of rage and frustration.

Suddenly Trey understood. What was once the process of nature to give life from death, had become abut a shade of that purpose. Now, it sought to bring death, so that it could give life. Even as this realization dawned on him, the boy noticed the wall behind him was covered with ivy and fungus. The creature was existing here, in this alley, because it was safe. Like so many corners of this city, people rarely came here. It was the closest thing to solitude the spirit could find.

He looked once more at the body of JJ.

“Now they know.” He whispered. “JJ’s friends will tell people about you. They’ll come to see, and you will never be left alone again.”

A moaning sound issued from the maw, and the eyes flared in alarm.

“What if…” Trey looked at the creature. “What if you could be rid of them all first? I know where they live. It’s an abandoned warehouse. You could live there when you were done.”

The spirit hesitated. It read Trey’s intentions, and it’s naturally peaceful soul was repulsed. But then it extended a papery appendage to touch the scar on the boy’s forehead where JJ had struck him, and suddenly the eyes flared again. A feeling of agreement and purpose washed over the boy, and he allowed himself to be lifted bodily, secure that this thing would never harm him, or let him be harmed.

The hour was late, and none were on the streets save for a few drunks who would not believe that they saw a shambling mound of paper carrying a young boy down the street. Not even when they heard the news of a gang of terrified kids who told wild tales of a creature in their warehouse the next day. When the police investigated, all they found was an empty warehouse, covered in moss and ivy.

Monday, October 29, 2012

5 Movie scenes that never fail to make me cry


Ok, I don’t always “cry” per se during these scenes. But they always manage to choke me up, to a greater or lesser extent, depending on how invested in the movie I am at the time. And I’m sure if I gave it some real thought, I could come up with at least 20 more of them. But these are the five that came to mind as I thought about this topic.

Renaissance Man (1994) – “Private Davis gets his father’s medal”
Remembering this scene is what brought this subject up, so I figured I would list it first. Throughout the movie, Pvt. Davis talks about his daddy dying a hero in Vietnam, much to the derision of the rest of the crew. But in this scene, all of his feelings are vindicated. As a military brat and vet, this hits me right THERE. We all want to honor our fallen heroes. But when it’s a personal need, it’s just that much more important.

Fellowship of the Ring (2001) – “Boromir’s death”
Boromir is, by far, my favorite character from LotR. And even in the Ralph Bakshi animated movie, his death saddens me. Sean Bean and Viggo Mortinson play this scene out so wonderfully. And with him laying there dying in the midst of literally a field of slain foes…it’s the most heroic scene in the entire movie, IMHO. Maybe in the entire trilogy. Boromir is the Middle Earth equivalent of Captain America. His only fault was loving his country so much that it blinded him to the dangers of the Ring. But he atones for his sins, and sacrifices himself in an attempt to save two hobbits. And in the end, this sacrifice is probably the moment that turned Mary and Pippin into the heroes they needed to be later in the story.

Braveheart (1995) – “William Wallace’s death”
This is one of those movies that drags your heart in every direction throughout. It is as much a relentless emotional journey as it is a violent historical epic. But the moment when the inquisitor leans in to hear Wallace’s last word, and it comes out “FREEDOM!”…that slays me. The fact that Steven and Hamish are standing there to see it makes it all the more poignant. And it really makes Robert the Bruce’s final speech even more cheer-worthy. “You bled with William Wallace. Now bleed with me!”

The Notebook (2004) – “Allie regresses back into dementia”
I have to admit, this movie is a guilty pleasure. It’s a pure romance movie, and I love it. It pulls the heartstrings on many levels, but none so much as at the end, when Duke (James Garner) and Allie (Gena Rowlands) are enjoying a lucid moment for her, and then she suddenly regresses. My heart breaks as Duke is forced to watch her slip away once more. James garner is a brilliant actor, and his performance in this scene is legendary. I can’t watch it without actual tears rolling.

Dead Poets Society (1989) – “Oh captain, my captain”
This was a film that really showed how Robin Williams is an amazing actor, as well as being one of the funniest men alive. The entire film is stuffed with great and brilliant moments and performances. Several of them are tear-worthy (especially when Neil’s dad finds him dead). But the moment that makes my heart swell the most is when Mr. Keating comes to gather his things, and as he is leaving, his students stand on their desks. It is such a powerful scene. You now at that moment what a difference a good teacher can make. If I ever become a teacher, Mr. Keating will be one of my role-models.

Honorable mention: Casino Royale (2006) – “Aston Martin crash”
Alright, I don’t actually cry during this scene, but my inner car guy bawls like a mewling babe. Such a beautiful car.

Ok, man up, gents. What movies and scenes make you cry?

PS - I was planning on linking YouTube clips to all of these, but really, do I need to?  Plus, I don't think I could handle watching them all in one sitting.

Friday, October 26, 2012

My Scale of All Things Conan


So, with the announcement that Arnold will once again wield the Atlantean Sword (or an updated variation thereof), I have been thinking of the Conan character and property, and where I rank all of the various incarnations. Below is a list of the ones that I can honestly form an opinion about, each given a rank on a scale of 1 to 10.

The original, unedited stories by Robert E. Howard – 10
These are the standards. The litmus tests by which all other incarnations must be weighed and measured. REH was a master storyteller, with a gift for vivid prose and amazing characterization. If he had any flaw, it was that he tended to be long-winded with background information. But even then, he dumped the information in a style that made it enjoyable to read. So, really, it’s hardly a flaw.  Ideally, this is where you should start if you want to know who Conan was intended to be.  However, for a lot of us, it didn't begin there...

Conan the Barbarian (1982) – 8.5
There are basically three schools of thought on this movie; the Howard Purists who deride it for straying from the source material, even though a large portion of them will concede it’s at least a good film; the Arnold Fanboys who love it because it launched the juggernaut that was, and is, the Oak’s acting career; and…the rest of us. Personally, I love this movie more than almost any other. It introduced me to Conan and to REH in general, and has been a huge influence on my likes and tastes. I can see the points of, and to a certain extent agree with, the other two camps. But I really just love the film, and am overjoyed to hear of a new one with Arnold.

Marvel’s Conan the Barbarian/Savage Sword of Conan/etc. – 8
Shortly after reading the first Lancer book, I discovered SSOC on the comics shelf, and fell in love instantly. Though some issues were hit or miss, over all, the title was exceptional. I always felt the B&W format captured the mood of the stories and world better than the smaller, color format of CtB. I also collected various issues of Conan Saga and Conan the Savage, but neither were quite as good as Savage Sword.

Marvel’s and Dark Horse’s various Conan mini-series – 7
These have always been hit or miss. Some are good, others, not so much. Over all, they are enjoyable as comics, but never quite live up to SSOC, in my opinion (maybe because they didn’t have John Buscema or Ernie Chan working on them). Again, I think the vivid colors often detracted from the grittiness of the stories. However, the few that I collected were readable, and none stand out as particularly bad.

Conan the Barbarian (2011) – 6
I am divided on this film. I thought Mamoa did an amazing job. I thought the visuals were stunning (with the exception of the Cimmerian swords being cartoonishly huge), and the direction was more than adequate. But the story and script lacked…well, lacked anything close to originality or entertainment. Had the director and cast had a better script (preferably based on actual Howard stories), this could have been an awesome film. As it is, it’s just popcorn fun, that you watch once or twice, just to say you did.

Kull the Conqueror (1997) – 5
I include this because it is loosely based off 'Hour of the Dragon', my favorite Conan story, and was intended to be Conan III, before Arnold backed out. As it is, Kevin Sorbo is a decent Kull. The plot is fine, the acting ok adequate, the sets and costumes are not wholly offensive. The special effects are standard, if a bit lackluster. But over all, it’s kind of “meh.” Like the 2011 Conan movie, it’s a fun popcorn film, worthy of watching on occasion, but not much more.

Conan (TV, 1997) – 3
This show made many mistakes. First of all, it dressed Conan in underwear and boots…and nothing else. Second of all, it tried too hard to capture the magic of Hercules and Xena. And lastly, it had way too many silly characters. Honestly, I could never watch more than the first painful episode. On the plus side, Ralf Moeller was physically a good choice, and he is a decent enough actor, all things considered. But the writing was horrible, and everything looked too clean to be a Howardian show.

Red Sonja (1985) – 2
Though not strictly a “Conan” movie, it was written to take place in the Hyborian Age (though that was a product of Marvel re-imagining the character to fit there). And Arnold’s character, Kalidor, was originally intended to be Conan. Over all, this movie is horrid. The acting generally stinks, the dialogue is atrocious, the plot is childish, and the set design is laughable. About the only saving grace is that Arnold played Kalidor the way he should have been able to play Conan. But even that is not enough to save this film.

Conan the Destroyer (1984) – 1
The bottom. The afterbirth of it’s predecessor, this film had the potential to be good, but it seemed like no one cared enough to put any effort into it. It was a cash cow meant to sell toys to kids, and nothing more. I really can find no redeeming qualities for this film, other than Arnold looked a bit more lean and Conan-esque. In CtB he was, perhaps, a bit bulky. But it’s not enough to save this film. Generally, I disavow this movie, and am overjoyed that the writer who was hired to write the newest intends to do so also.

Not seen: Conan the Adventurer (TV, 1992) - N/A
I have never seen this animated series, and really am not interested in rectifying that. I have heard rumors that it adapted a few actual Howard stories. But, since it’s a kids’ cartoon, I’m not sure I want to see that.

There are probably a few other incarnations that I have left out, such as the DeCamp and Tor Books pastiches. DeCamp’s stories are ok, but not Howard-worthy. And I have only read a single Tor novel, by Roland Green. It was unmemorable, so I don’t feel I can honestly comment on those.

So, there you go. Now, let’s get on with ‘The Legend of Conan’ (though I hope they change the title…I rather like Milius’ planned ‘Crown of Iron’).

Monday, October 22, 2012

My First Tattoo


So, yesterday I got inked. I’m almost 42 and this was my first (surprising since I made it 6 years in the Army without one). I had been thinking about getting one for years, and in the last few (in large part thanks to my wife’s influence) I have been actually planning it. Yesterday, I finally went in and got it done. I’m not going to lie to those who don’t have any; it hurts like hell. I was told that it feels like a cat scratching a sunburn, and that’s a pretty accurate description of the pain, both the feeling and intensity. But, it’s bearable, and very worth it.

So, what did I get? I got a dragon. But not just any dragon, or something chosen from a catalogue of tattoo designs. I got a western fantasy dragon, based on an interior art drawing of Skie, the blue dragon mount of Kitiara, from The Dragonlance Chronicles Vol. 2: The Dragons of Winter Night. It’s always been one of my favorite dragon drawings, and it struck me a few months ago how great of a tattoo it would make.

So, I printed a copy of the drawing and took it to our tattoo artist (he’s already done one for Michele, and will be doing all of our future ones as well) on our consultation appointment. He had some cool ideas, and I told him to run with it. Yesterday, I sat down in his chair, and after a little over an hour, I saw the final result. It is amazing!

As you can see, there are some major changes involved. First of all, since I got it on my left shoulder, he flipped it so the dragon is facing forward. Second, he added a lot of detail to the moon, and some cloud cover for atmosphere. And finally, he added some shading and depth that really make the dragon stand out. I am very happy with it.

I’m also already planning my second one. I want to get my last name done in the style of the logo for the 1982 Conan movie. It’s one of my all-time favorite movies, and was highly influential on my future reading and hobby choices. So, I thought what better way to pay homage to the film, and still personalize it?

Imagine it saying "DOOLAN" instead of "CONAN"

However, this one has to wait, as the next one is my wife’s. She’s a music fiend and is planning a sleeve of artist and band logos and names. Her first will be David Bowie, as he’s her all-time favorite.

Friday, October 5, 2012

50 years of Bond, James Bond.


From the moment Sean Connery first claimed the name, the world has been in love with the superspy from Great Britain. And now, in his 50th cinematic year, Bond is back in SKYFALL, the third outing for the surprisingly good Daniel Craig. In celebration of this, I think I will do a list similar to what I did for Star Trek a while back: My Bond Favorites

It should be noted that I consider the cinematic Bond separate from the literary character. I am almost ashamed to admit that I have never read any of the original Ian Fleming novels (something I hope to remedy someday), but I have read a number of the John Gardner ones, and even one of the Raymond Benson ones. However, my favorites below are restricted to the movies, which I have loved since I was a kid. When my friends and I would play pretend, they would all pick superheroes like Spiderman or Superman or the Hulk. I always chose to be James Bond.

Favorite Bond Movie
This is a really tough one. I like most of the Bond films, each to a greater or lesser extent. Part of me wants to stick with my long-running favorite, GOLDFINGER. But honestly, CASINO ROYALE probably tops it (the Daniel Craig one, not the David Niven parody). So, I am going to go with that. The opening action is amazing, the villain is suitably evil, and the whole plot is exotic without taking itself too seriously. But it’s really the subplots that make this movie so awesome. It’s an origin story of sorts, and so we get to see Bond as he develops into the cold and sophisticated agent we all know and love. The only downside to the movie is when they wreck the Aston Martin. I almost cry every time I watch that.

Favorite James Bond
Even though I love Daniel Craig, and I think each actor brought something unique to the role, I have say that I am still a Sean Connery fan. Craig runs a close second, but Sean is still the best, IMHO. He is the measuring stick to which all others are compared. He is the most masculine Bond, making him the archetypal character that every man wants to be, and every woman wants to be with. My 9-year old daughter, who is also a big Bond fan already, saw a picture of Sean as Bond, and even she remarked that he was quite handsome. Who can argue with that?

Favorite Bond Theme Song
There have been some hits and misses in theme songs. But, generally, most have been at least decent. My favorite, though, is almost a tie between “Goldeneye” by Tina Turner and “You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell for Casino Royale. Tina’s voice is sultry, and the song is at once sexy and menacing. But Cornell’s intense mixture of metal and big band wins out as the one theme song that just screams Bond Film.



Favorite Supporting Character
Characters have come and gone in the Bond universe, and even though there are recurring characters in a lot of films, only a couple have been played by the same actor more than once, or even a couple of times. My favorite, by far, is Desmond Lewellyn’s Q. Like Connery, Desmond created a character that was the standard by which all future versions would be measured (of which there are only two to date, including the latest, introduced in the forthcoming SKYFALL). When I heard that he passed away in 1999, I shed tears. Because a part of the Bond legacy was lost forever.

Most Underrated Bond Movie
As I’ve said, I’ve liked most of the Bond films. But, I think the one film that deserves more praise than it gets is Timothy Dalton’s first outing, THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS. This was a return to a more gritty Bond, and was a welcome change from the clownish Roger Moore days. Dalton’s Bond is often regarded as most closely resembling Fleming’s literary character, for his gritty and intense portrayal. The action is very well-done, the sets suitably exotic, the Bond Girl cute as a button, and it marked a return to Bond driving an Aston Martin, with a really cool, gadget-filled chase scene. I even like the theme song a lot, sung by A-Ha.

Best Bond Movie Quote
Bond movies have always been rife with quips and one-liners. But the one exchange that stands out as my favorite comes from GOLDFINGER:

James Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
Auric Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.



So, who else has some Bond favorites they would like to share?