I recently had a revelation of sorts. I am "above average" at a lot of things, and some things I am downright "good" at. But there is nothing I can call myself an "expert" at. Or even "highly skilled." I mean, I can draw better than the average person, but I'm nowhere near professional level. I can write a decent story, but my writing is very unpolished, and I have a horrible time with getting through a single project. I know a lot about computers, but anything more than maintenance and I get lost (the exception to that is MS Excel...I have taught classes in that).
I could go on, but the point is, all of my life-experience and education has produced nothing more than someone who is slightly above-average in many regards, but in the big picture, nothing spectacular.
And this is what places me where I am in life. I am turning 40 years old this year. I look around and see people I went to high school with enjoying fruitful lives, with steady careers, many with advanced college degrees. And then I look in the mirror and see a person whose only definable contribution is that he is a good husband and dad. And on some days, even those are debatable.
Mind you, this isn't a bitch-fest, or a woe-is-me blog post. This is just me, putting my life in perspective, and trying to figure out what I am doing here. I have no goals or aspirations to speak of. I mean, I'd love to be a published author, or a screenwriter, or a game-designer. I know I am an inherently creative person, and my instincts tell me I should follow that course somehow.
So, here it is. Time to decide how I will make a life and career out of being creative...