Thursday, February 18, 2010

Jack of Some Trades...

I recently had a revelation of sorts. I am "above average" at a lot of things, and some things I am downright "good" at. But there is nothing I can call myself an "expert" at. Or even "highly skilled." I mean, I can draw better than the average person, but I'm nowhere near professional level. I can write a decent story, but my writing is very unpolished, and I have a horrible time with getting through a single project. I know a lot about computers, but anything more than maintenance and I get lost (the exception to that is MS Excel...I have taught classes in that).

I could go on, but the point is, all of my life-experience and education has produced nothing more than someone who is slightly above-average in many regards, but in the big picture, nothing spectacular.

And this is what places me where I am in life. I am turning 40 years old this year. I look around and see people I went to high school with enjoying fruitful lives, with steady careers, many with advanced college degrees. And then I look in the mirror and see a person whose only definable contribution is that he is a good husband and dad. And on some days, even those are debatable.

Mind you, this isn't a bitch-fest, or a woe-is-me blog post. This is just me, putting my life in perspective, and trying to figure out what I am doing here. I have no goals or aspirations to speak of. I mean, I'd love to be a published author, or a screenwriter, or a game-designer. I know I am an inherently creative person, and my instincts tell me I should follow that course somehow.

So, here it is. Time to decide how I will make a life and career out of being creative...

1 comment:

bowiefan said...

You are a good husband and father, its not debatable, just a fact.

Being good at something involves actually letting yourself be good at it. You're going to have to let yourself toot your own horn someday. Knowing you're good at something will allow you to enjoyably focus on it without those self-imposed "I'm not all that good" barriers.